Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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