you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
