Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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