Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
