my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
