I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
