is your mom at the bar?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
