allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
