it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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