My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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