$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
