i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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