im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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