"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
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