Jerry, you need to find god
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Life is so much better after having sex.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Less talking, more tequila
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
