How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
