just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
