If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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