I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
last night I used snow as a chaser
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
