Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Randomize
