i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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