Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize