If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
