I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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