I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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