Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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