I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
