My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
