I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize