Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just invented taco cereal.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
