dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
