I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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