i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
