so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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