Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
