What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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