they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
