I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
