I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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