why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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