Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
