Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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