I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
