If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Michael Bay diarrhea
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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