oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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