you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
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i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
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He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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