real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
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I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
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Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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