i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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