This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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