All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
