before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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