Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
