I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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