I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
