I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
