you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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