can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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