Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
