everyone is single if you try hard enough
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
