worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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