come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
