But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
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i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.