just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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