just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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