have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
